


who knows what you truly felt.

by kaidoripropaganda



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Affection, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Platonic Relationships, consent is very sexy is the moral of the story here guys, if you would like to see this as ace akane please by all means get your juice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26714506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaidoripropaganda/pseuds/kaidoripropaganda
Summary: five times akane gets embarrassed from affection and one time she initiates it.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Owari Akane, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko & Owari Akane, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Pekoyama Peko, Nidai Nekomaru/Owari Akane, Owari Akane & Soda Kazuichi, Owari Akane & Tanaka Gundham, mentions of bandaid and sondam as well, this is intended to be akanidai but hey if you see an akane ship you like go crazy lads
Comments: 12
Kudos: 31





	who knows what you truly felt.

**Author's Note:**

> oh yes a small one shot as I finish up the next chapter for the multichapter i have, had this idea very randomly but really wanted to write this. skip to the story if you do not wish to see my tangent below ;+) 
> 
> I love akane very much and man she means a lot to me and I just find her entire resolve and her opinions about affection and how she clearly is open speaking about sexual things or being openly nude/comfortable in her body but clearly embarrassed by simple things like holding hands or a hug very fascinating. it is just a very interesting topic, we see that she clearly is okay and finds sexual ideas or comments that may find nsfw or not normal by a societal standard the standard in her life and in her head. we know why this has happened unfortunately because of her fte’s and what she had to do as a child/teen.
> 
> i feel as where she’s clearly in canon desensitized to these topics, things like genuine comments or things like hugs and gentle kisses would kind of freak her out because that isn’t affection or something that she has been introduced to possibly ever—or atleast not later in her life when pre-despair. this is what the fic is for! ofc im bias and akanidai is the romantic focus but affection can be platonic so hence the other tags xx

* * *

one. 

* * *

  
“What...what the hell are you doing? We’re not little kids!”

Hajime stammered, a small flush across his face as he held out his hand further, asking once again if she would like to hold his hand as they explored the island together. Akane scoffed, unable to even compute a response as her hand shook, out stretching it near Hajime who grabbed it gently.

“Damn your hands are warm,” the gymnast commented, attempting to understand why she felt so uncomfortable at such a seemingly innocent gesture. 

She knew that part of it was probably the nerves and anxiety that crept up from being awake from the simulation and remembering all that happened but the other half of her body uncharacteristically seemed to shiver.

Hajime gave a firm glance in her direction, not saying a word as he studied her expression and deep breaths in and out. He had never seen her so flustered and perhaps if this was someone like Gundham or Mahiru who became shy and red faced when hiding their enjoyment he could write this off however, this was odd for someone as blunt and head strong as Akane. 

She grew uncomfortable as they began to walk to her, the brunette shoved her hand away as Hajime almost tripped over his foot in surprise.

“Sorry,” she apologised nervously as she tried to help him up though Hajime, who now was sporting one green and one red eye, insisted that there was no need especially if him touching her was what had knocked him to the concrete. “Don’t know why I got so pushy, sorry Hajime,” she added before he stood and shook his head.

“My fault for not asking if you were explicitly okay with holding hands,” he responded. 

She laughed suddenly as she attempted to put the puzzle together, impressed with herself for thinking she had figured out why Hajime had asked to hold her hand. “You tryin’ to get with me or something?” Akane asked as Hajime felt his entire face turn white, not wanting to send that message to the woman who clearly was interested in someone else.

Akane winked, “Geez Hajime had no clue you liked me so much,” she spouted amused that out of everyone who had woken up, which had just been the five of the original survivors so far, that he was the one to openly attempt to send mixed messages to her.

“No, no,” he yelled over her as she chuckled.

“Holding hands doesn’t have to mean anything sexual, it’s just an innocent gesture,” he explained before the gymnast tilted her head, only left twice as confused as before. She didn’t understand exactly how him attempting to touch her didn’t mean something other than her usual expectations and thoughts. 

“What do you mean?”

The reserve course student rolled his eyes as he took in a small breath, impressed and also concerned at how Akane’s brain functioned. He had always noticed this as well, ever since the simulation had begun; she was always the least embarrassed about her body and sexual comments yet she was also the same girl who almost punched Nagito over a simple shoulder tap.

“Affection doesn’t mean being romantic or sexual, we’re just close friends Akane,” he bluntly stated as she laughed once again, nodding her head as she responded that she also thought they were just friends but she was just confused by the sudden hand holding.

Hajime blinked.

_More than confused, you made me trip over my own shoes because you freaked out so bad._

Akane crossed her arms as they continued walking through the second island, it looked scarily familiar to the one that had been presented in the simulation and it made the gymnast’s stomach twitch. Chandler Beach only reminded her of her time sparring with Nekomaru and the occasional shouts from Ibuki who often sat and watched them eagerly. Hajime cleared his throat, trying to catch her attention without any touching as she glanced up at the brunette.

“We’ll find a way to get everyone awake, I’m still Izuru you know,” he smiled, hopeful that they could help all of their classmates still stuck deep in comatose. Akane shook her head, snapping out of her own delusional daydreams as she turned towards the shorter man with a soft smile across her lips.

“I trust that giant brain of yours,” she admitted softly as they walked past Chandler Beach, her eyes locked on that familiar place she had come to remember with both a deep fondness and sadness as Hajime took them near the diner, which still existed physically on the real Jabberwock Island they had come to accept as their new living quarters until further notice.

How long? That was a question that no one had the answer to but Hajime could only assume it would be years, maybe even more, before the Future Foundation would find it safe enough for them to exist back on the mainland and with human society. 

For now this would do.

“You wanna see if there’s any food inside?”

He turned and saw Akane eagerly staring at the door, her eyes wide and glowing as she begged the other man beside her to let the walking stop for a few minutes if it meant they could see if this seemingly empty diner somehow had any food.

Hajime sighed in relief, happy that her old habits and personality slowly had begun to shine through the cracked surface.

“Sure.”

* * * 

two.

* * *

  
When Gundham had first woken up Akane had snapped, demanding that he stay ten feet away from her at all costs and that everything that had happened to Nekomaru was his fault; that everything had fallen on his shoulders alone. 

Overtaken with rage she ran out of the hospital, cursing him as the others watched with varying degrees of horror though Gundham, himself, looked quite calm. It was as if he had expected this kind of reaction from the gymnast. It was not as if he could blame her explicit anger for killing the person she had admitted she cared most for and loved.

He didn't ask questions.

He gave her the space she deserved even if Sonia and Fuyuhiko always told him at the restaurant that the entire trial was far too complicated. 

_"You don't need to blame yourself so much, she doesn't need to pin this all on you,"_ Fuyuhiko had admitted before taking another bite of his food and adding on saying that Nekomaru could have just as easily killed him. 

Sonia had held his arm and comfortingly spoke to him about how she wasn't filled with spite, that she was simply hurt and having him wake up before Nekomaru must have triggered emotions she had been holding in.

Kazuichi grunted.

 _"She's allowed to be hurt,"_ he added carefully reluctantly as Fuyuhiko stared him down, they both were her closest friends so Gundham was certain that her emotions weren't as repressed around them.

The breeder smirked, a small chuckle leaving his mouth as the three turned to him, curious.

_"I am not offended by her cursing my name and my family, I did an inexcusable action and committed a crime."_

Sonia opened her mouth to speak though Gundham knew what she was going to say; the princess would begin explaining how they had both given their lives for them to escape the Funhouse during the simulation however that talk was cheap. 

An entire week passed before Gundham felt enough confidence to confront Akane about her deep hatred towards him.

Akane at first refused to speak to him, her fists clenched, ready to make a move at any moment's notice if he dare attempt to poke her on.

"You have guts coming to see me Tanaka," she growled under her breath, the breeder taken aback for a brief moment at just how much undisputable hatred wreaked when she spoke. 

Gundham closed his eyes for a moment, a deep breath as he sniffed the air, attempting to make sense of her aura and the intensity from the air that had engulfed them both.

"I would like to speak to you in private." 

Akane's brain flashed dozens of red flags, she clearly looked completely and utterly opposed to the idea, especially considering that Nekomaru had yet to awaken from his own comatose state.

"You cannot avoid my presence forever Akane," he stated as she immediately winced, angrily she snarled at him before he stared her down, attempting to calm her down purely with the look of his eyes.

The gymnast froze for a few seconds before she sighed, the anger from her face little by little disappearing as it shifted to disappointment, as if she felt weak for succumbing to his idea of talking.

"Fine, beach, now." 

He had followed her instructions as the two made it towards the main island beach, gathered under a large palm tree and near the end of the shore as to hide themselves from other classmates who may disrupt them.

The stars shined as Akane har sat in the sand, knees to her chin as Gundham quietly observed the sky and the calm waves that sounded off during this time of night. 

What Akane had expected to be ten minutes of conversation to be blown off either by her own anger or his awkwardness had instead turned into almost two hours of discussion, back and forth though Akane had spoken far less than Gundham.

She had finally broken down and admitted that she knew deep in her heart that it was just as much of a sacrifice as Nekomaru had made. Akane had sighed and wiped her eyes, not daring to show herself in such a vulnerable state, especially not Gundham, when speaking about Nekomaru.

He had attempted to make peace by wrapping an arm around her shoulders, trying to signify that he had at least attempted to comfort her.

However, she immediately grabbed his wrist and threw the hand off of her shoulder much to the dismay of Gundham who held in a loud yell, impressed and completely blindsided by how strong and receptive she was.

The gymnast scoffed, offended.

"What?! Are you tryin' to feel me up?" 

Gundham stared at her confused as he held his wrist with his bandaged arm before he had heard her add that flirting during a time like this made the conversation look cheap.

The breeder coughed, covering his face with his scarf for a brief moment out of instinct before he snapped, replying at her coldly. 

"You fiend, I had been attempting to consolidate your emotions, do you truly believe I would ever even consider you a formidable partner?" 

Akane coldly shook, shaking her head as she waved him off, trying not to even picture what a romantic relationship with Gundham would be like. Maybe one day she would ask Sonia out of curiosity however it certainly wouldn't ever happen with her.

"If I may comment," he hummed as the gymnast glanced at him, eyeing him up and down as she took note of one of his four hamsters walking on the arm he extended out for it to roam upon.

"You already opened your mouth, say what you gotta say." 

"Akane, you are quite fascinating," he began before he heard the gymnast beside him crack her knuckles with a grin painted across his lips, quietly she warned him not to start with the flirting again.

"You have quite the demeanor. I have begun to notice how odd you are when others offer you any forms of affection, I do not believe I have ever seen anyone but Nekomaru even lay a hand on you." 

Akane rolled her eyes, bored.

"What are you implying douchebag?" She spat as her finger flicked off a piece of hair stuck to her denim jacket.

"You are the first to suggest and uphold the nature of human desire and virtues however you are someone who opposes basic signs of affection." 

She blinked, unable to even process a single word that had just left his lips.

"Huh?"

Gundham raised his other hand, attempting to finish what he was trying to explain to her though he only left Akane with three times the questions once he had begun to go into the psychology of animals and their patterns of affection.

"I'm not one of your fucking hamsters." 

He laughed, that same maniacal energy that he had been well known for beginning to come back as he held out his four Dark Devas. "You mere mortal, these are not hamsters, these are the beings who will uphold my empire!" 

Akane sighed, placing her head on her hand as she let herself stretch out.

"Man, you haven't changed at all." 

* * * 

three.

* * *

  
Kazuichi, Akane and Fuyuhiko had set up their usual monthly meetup with one another away from the others. 

Though the tradition had started before anyone had woken up they had upheld said tradition even after almost everyone had been revived from their comatose state. They had seemed to stick with a rotation of Chandler Beach or the Diner as their meeting place for the last eight months.

The three of them had stuck together since the beginning though their individual friendships with one another had began rocky at first. 

Peko and Nekomaru's sacrifices had greatly affected the way Akane and Fuyuhiko acted around each other and the rest of their class while Kazuichi had simply begun to learn and process things differently near the end of the simulation and especially after he had woke up.

The usual meet ups consisted of nothing but talking and eating but the added pizazz of it just being the three of them seemed to make everything feel just a bit more relaxed. 

Sure, having everyone back had been wonderful especially for Fuyuhiko and Akane who got to see the people who mattered most to them after months of wait and bottled feelings however, sometimes they desired to simply be with just one another and reminisce about their antics before everyone had woke up.

Akane and Fuyuhiko sat beside one another as Kazuichi sprawled out against the booth seating, happy to have it all to himself as the gymnast happily stuffed herself to the brim with food, occasionally taking sips from her water bottle as the Yakuza would occasionally comment for her to slow her roll.

"No need to rush, we have all the time we need if you wanna eat," he acknowledged as he glanced towards the clock inside the diner as Kazuichi nodded in agreement though Akane seemed determined to eat as much as possible today.

The brunette shrugged.

"You got something going on that you wanna spill?" Kazuichi asked, pressing her on, convinced that something was going on judging by how oddly quiet she had been all morning with them. Akane had been nothing but silence and bitterness the first two weeks they had woken up, it was a drastically different change than the usual bustling, confident, headstrong athlete they had come to know and love.

Anytime she was quiet the receptors in Kazuichi's brain went off, Fuyuhiko kept quiet, knowing that sometimes it was better not to ask about someone's business even if the meaning had good intentions.

She looked at the mechanic, cocking her brows as she chuckled quietly.

"Whaddya mean?" 

"I know something's up when you're quiet!" 

Akane was stunned into silence, Fuyuhiko immediately defended her like a protective younger brother, the two had built a strong sibling type camaraderie since their last trial and it had only grown stronger and stronger since the heir to the clan insisted that they do a sacred blood oath with one another.

"You can be a real pest sometimes, you don't gotta ask her this shit every time she's quiet," he responded in a low, frustrated tone.

"Lay off, he didn't mean it like that and you know it," She replied as the Yakuza listened to her words and did as she said, apologising to Kazuichi who nervously smiled, not meaning to make everything suddenly so awkward.

"I've just been thinking is all…" 

Kazuichi attempted to bend over and hug her as Akane felt herself almost instantaneously flinch at the gesture. Once his arms wrapped around her neck she scrambled to make it out of his hold on her.

"Stop touching me!" She yelled flustered, the words coming out faster than her brain could process before Kazuichi immediately dropped his arms as Akane covered her mouth with her hand.

_This keeps happening…_

Her mouth was open yet no words left her lips, her throat felt dry as the Sahara and her body and heart felt heavy as could be. She didn't know why this kept happening but she always felt the need to apologise for it.

Fuyuhiko must've sensed what she was about to say because he immediately stepped in. "Don't even think about it, Peko does the same thing," he stated in front of them both as Akane ran a hand through her own hair.

"Don't apologise for not wanting people to touch you, deny that shit as much as you want, your comfort is what matters," he added as he took another bite from his burger, as if this conversation was second nature to him. Perhaps it was considering how hard it had been for Peko to recover and begin thinking like a genuine human being and not just a brainwashed tool.

Kazuichi stuttered, unable to hold back how ashamed he felt, Akane had yelled at him before but never over something as serious or tense of a subject matter as this.

"Sorry Akane, I…I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." 

Akane shook her head, feeling a sense of guilt trip her over as she watched her own best friend apologise for something as simple as a hug. "Don't, I just don't know what's wrong with me," she groaned.

"Is this what's bothering you?" 

She paused for a moment before she nodded briefly.

Fuyuhiko smiled gently, a respectful nod back as he sighed, admitting that this wasn't something completely new to him. 

"Peko was the same, we had to work on that together, some people just don't want affection sometimes and that's okay, not like I'd ever love that woman any less," he smiled sweetly pondering the thought of his longtime crush and now lover as Akane gnawed at her cheek.

"I don't get why I'm uncomfortable, everyone seems shocked by it." 

Kazuichi coughed nervously, butting in as he explained that it might be because of all the sexual innuendos she had made during their time in the killing game and how she was always the first to suggest getting nude.

It still didn't click for her.

"What the dipshit is trying to say is some might not realize because you could be unintentionally provocative at times, especially when you tried to get naked in front of all of this that first day." 

The mechanic nodded, smiling.

"Exactly, what Fuyuhiko s—" he paused, offended, "Hey man, who are you calling dipshit?!" 

Akane never felt like that was something to be ashamed of, it was built into her life since she was a young girl. She remembered her mother teaching her how to dress to earn the attention of men far before an age where she could stomach what was right and wrong.

_"Don't forget, this is all to help you support your siblings, you're a beautiful girl, don't let them die here."_

She remembered constantly being flirted and touched by her mom's lovers or her various assortment of step father's or even the old men who had stalked her during her time as a waitress. Akane had become used to it all at a young age, she believed that this was standard protocol, that her body was the thing that would provide her family with a good life.

Everything rested on her shoulders.

The whole reason she had even begun gymnastics was because of the old man who had seen her do parkour in her rundown village, he occasionally had flirted though Akane would simply smile and do her worst as he kept pestering her to do the sport.

 _"You'll be perfect in a tight leotard,"_ he would always mention as he examined her from afar. Eventually she gave in, the sport had led to easy money and a steady income for all of her family, the one thing she cared about.

Floor shows, uneven bars—every part of gymnastics had bored her. There was a set rhythm to everything she had to do and on top of that she had to do dozens of dance and extra classes to make sure she stayed in a top position consistently. She had been good enough to be scouted as the Ultimate Gymnast, she had proven her worth even if it meant sacrificing her own privacy and becoming desensitized to her own body and sexual activity.

They had brought up the point themselves.

That first day at the island she had tried to strip in front of all of them, hating the idea of being covered by a school swimsuit and she had often made jokes or told Hajime that he was absolutely allowed her body if he solved a case—which now made no bit of sense however it was her intent that counted.

Why was she hung up over simple things like hugs or holding hands, why was this the thing that so deeply struck a nerve in her. She never got angry or flinched when Nekomaru touched her during a spar or when they had exchanged massages to one another yet the few times so far he had tried to touch her outside of the first time she saw him awake, she had quietly told him off.

The gymnast took in a deep breath.

"Maybe I'm just not used to it." 

"It?" 

Akane frowned before they both scooted closer towards her to make sure she knew that they were paying close attention and listening to whatever she needed to get out, that they were all best friends ready to support one another.

"I don't know, maybe I don't like getting affection," she finally said aloud before it finally had clicked, the mental image of a lightbulb immediately came to mind.

All of her childhood, even her teen years, she had been exploited and her body had become her purpose and her tool and her only paycheck. 

There was never any kind of affection involved unless you counted the rare moments of her siblings dragging her around the house or begging that she tell them stories to fall asleep. However, there were almost never hugs exchanged, perhaps a few hands were held but children were different for Akane.

Perhaps now was the time she had finally taken back her own body and realized that consent was never something she had grown up with. The only proper response was a child was to nod her head or say "yes," with no repercussions. 

Saying "No" had begun to feel powerful, like she had finally taken some hold of her own life back. 

"That's perfectly okay." 

She looked up, Fuyuhiko giving her a soft smile.

"You and Peko should talk, she was the same, she's gotten better around me but she's still finding out her comfort level and all, can't blame her after everything that's happened." 

Kazuichi cleared his throat.

"You should talk to Nekomaru," he finally said as they both glared at him, Fuyuhiko giving another angry expression as Akane felt her fingertip's press into her chin. 

"Why coach?" 

The mechanic looked around in awe, as if everything that had just come out of her mouth was spoken in Armenian or a foreign language he couldn't understand.

"You two are like a couple almost!" 

Akane laughed, refusing to believe such a thing though her heart raced the moment that Kazuichi had brought up the word "couple" to refer to the athletic pair. Fuyuhiko sighed, looking almost disappointed that the gymnast had once again blown off their relationship and what they had for one another.

"We'll see about the old man." 

* * * 

four.

* * *

  
The day after she had attended a "girls-only" picnic organized by Sonia and Mahiru, the seven of them all gathered on the beach right near where the statue of Chiaki was going to be built according to Hajime and Makoto, who had approved the project and gotten the thumbs up from the Future Foundation. 

It felt odd without the woman beside them, they all missed her calm attitude and the constant noises that blasted from her handheld game devices. However, she had done her job and projected them, Hajime promised they'd never forget her and they certainly wouldn't now with the statue being built.

Sonia had been trying to blow up the pool floaties that Ibuki had rummaged from the storage closet in the beach house as Akane played volleyball against Mahiru and Mikan, the nurse often squirming from the ball though they had cheered her on long enough for her to start becoming comfortable with trying to hit the ball. 

"Very nice!" Akane yelled as she jumped and spiked the ball right over the net into the opposing court, the nurse and photographer not able to hit it back as the gymnast cried out in victory. 

"I don't even wanna know how bad we're losing," Mahiru commented as Mikan whined, wondering aloud how they would ever beat the athlete in any kind of sports game or environment.

Peko sat beside them, quietly reading and administering the scores though she didn't comment knowing that everyone had decided Akane was going to be the clear winner of the game. 

"Ibuki wants to play!" 

Sonia nodded, excited as she ran to the makeshift volleyball court they had outlined with their net and lines drawn in the sand, determined to try and play with them. Hiyoko still played in the water, happy to have her time alone though she occasionally would cheer for Mahiru from the shore.

Because the princess did not exactly understand the rules of the game they decided that she would watch the first few plays and then switch out with Ibuki who was now playing with Akane. The musician was surprisingly good when it came to the sport which only made Mikan and Mahiru struggle further.

They cheered as Ibuki screamed, falling to her knees in excitement as they all laughed at her competitive spirit. Sonia had eventually joined in place of Mikan who wanted to take a break and get a drink, the princess had picked it up quickly, getting a few points over them.

Volleyball lasted a good hour before all of them, besides Akane, had been tired out though Ibuki giggled, grinning through her teeth as she rubbed the gymnast's shoulders attempting to congratulate her on their successful teamwork with one another.

The gymnast moved away, not wanting to push her though she felt the touch trigger her fight or flight response as she looked away and quietly told Ibuki not to touch her like that.

"Don't...touch me," she whispered, everyone silent as they watched Ibuki tense up, not realizing that she had made Akane uncomfortable by trying to rub her shoulders.

Mahiru seemed sympathetic, not expecting Akane to be the type to push someone away over physical contact. The photographer jumped on the conversation, not liking how silent it was becoming as she warned the musician that she needed to ask when touching people like that.

"Personal space, you just gotta ask is all," she added sweetly, not wanting Ibuki to take it so harshly on herself. They all knew the musician would never intentionally try to make anyone upset even if she needed to learn boundaries at times it all came from a place of love.

Ibuki seemed terrified that she had made the gymnast upset, she immediately apologised as she chewed on her finger nails though she had made sure to admit loud and clear that she would watch herself. 

Akane nodded, giving a soft smile.

"Ibuki now knows that Akane does not like being touched and that is okay!" She said, hands on her hips as she proudly said those words as if she had just learned the basic meaning of consent and needed everyone to know so.

Sonia giggled before she distracted everyone by suggesting they all go into the water to cool down after playing such an intense few games of volleyball with one another. They all agreed besides Peko and Hiyoko who had been in the water long enough. 

The gymnast sighed in relief, glad that the conversation hadn't lasted too long as Ibuki held out a hand to Mikan, asking first if she would like her hand to be held as they went into the water, the musician knowing about the timid girl's fear of the water.

"Y-yes please…" 

"Ibuki has achieved consent!" 

Akane sat beside Peko, the swordswoman putting down her book as she asked the gymnast why she did not wish to go into the water. The gymnast shrugged, not exactly off put by the interaction but definitely feeling awkward about it.

"If you would like, we may go and sit by the shore so the water can touch you." 

Thankful, she nodded as Peko stood and walked over near the shore where they both sat down, Akane laughing occasionally at the screams that Ibuki had let out when she saw a piece of seaweed floating around her.

The cold water drenched her feet and her waist as the waves could come in and out, Peko silently observing their classmates as she adjusted her contacts. 

"You do not favour affection I presume?"

Akane groaned, a complicated layer of emotions surrounding the topic though she knew Peko was similar to her case judging by Fuyuhiko's comments and the way she acted in everyone's presence even during the simulation.

"It's not that…I don't even know to be honest." 

Peko let out a soft hum of approval.

"I understand, I am getting slowly used to the idea of having others hug me or having Fuyuhiko kiss me, he is always sweet and asks if it is okay." 

Akane winked, happy to hear that her closest friend was such a closet romantic and soft guy though she knew just how much of a weakness Peko held on him. She was the one thing that truly mattered to him and the one thing he had always wanted. 

He certainly wouldn't let her go so easily now that they had both agreed to being in a romantic relationship with one another after years of wait.

"Did you know when you wanted to kiss and do all that stuff?" 

Peko thought carefully.

"Only you can know the answer to that question, there is no specific time frame given," she admitted as she stared at the sky above them, acknowledging that it was a process that Akane had to figure out on her own.

"We are different people with different limits, I cannot give you a straight answer," she added as the gymnast bit her lip with a disappointed nod. "I can say that the only thing I wished to do when I was first awake was to hold him, it was an odd feeling but I suppose all emotions are."

Akane sighed, she was right and the gymnast knew so, love was complicated, everything about affection confused her to the core however she would need to think about that on her own time.

"Thanks Peko." 

The swordswoman smiled gently, glad that she could've been of some form of assistance to the gymnast who sat beside her just a little taller and more confident now.

"It was no trouble at all."   
  
* * * 

five.

* * *

  
"Look at all these stars!" 

Akane chuckled.

"I hate to tell you this old man but there's always some damn stars in the sky," she responded before Nekomaru gave a boisterous laugh in response. The two laid comfortably on their backsides in the sand right near where the waves had rolled up at Chandler Beach.

The team manager let out a satisfying and adorable yell anytime a shooting star would pass by or they would find some new shape to make out of the stars. 

"That looks like a rice ball," he commented with such enthusiasm that the gymnast couldn't even do anything except snicker beside him and place her hands on her chest.

Normally Akane would find this kind of activity dull, especially compared to training or fighting him however since waking up things had been drastically different.

Sometimes he would find himself staring at the gymnast, even in the mornings or at the restaurant in front of everyone and she would always call him out, asking if she had done something wrong.

 _"Nothing, you just look beautiful, that's all,"_ he'd always respond without a hint of hesitation in his voice or timing. It made her knees buckle and her heart completely pound out of her chest. She'd smile and cover her raging red cheeks with her hand as she often went into a coughing fit.

 _"I didn't really do anything different coach,"_ was always the response.

Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko would edge her on, sometimes Sonia would clasp her hands together beside them and nod at Akane to make some kind of move or statement however they stayed put in whatever odd limbo they had going on currently.

She looked over at him as she suddenly noticed he had turned to his side, staring at her with large and loving eyes—as if she was a sight to behold and that she had entranced him which perhaps, unintentionally, she had.

He immediately took away his own hand, remembering the rules and the things she had reluctantly told him only a few days ago as Akane felt saddened, feeling like she wanted his touch against her skin.

The team manager picked up on her movements and change in expression, quickly pulling himself together as he held out his hand again, Akane looking up.

"Can I do that?" 

Akane bit her lip, nodding immediately.

"Yeah old man," she whispered as a response, the only sounds they could hear were the waves beside them and their soft breaths. He gave a comforting smile before Akane closed her eyes, shy.

His hand felt hot against the surface of her cheek though it was welcome considering the breeze that currently was blowing through the midnight sky. Her hands nervously guided itself to his own, she placed her hands on top of his as they both stared at one another, a pin dropping.

She sighed in relief, glad that her gut hadn't reacted so damn awful to his touch. He had been the one person she prayed she wouldn't have such a bad reaction to especially considering her feelings towards him though they had yet to solve that entire debate for themselves. 

Akane felt her emotion begin to overtake her logic and intuition as she snapped her head forward, wanting badly to kiss him though she didn't know how good it was to test those waters yet. Nekomaru smiled, his thumb rubbing against her skin as she desperately attempted to force herself to stop being so damn worried and just act complacent for once.

She whined, pulling back the minute that her body seemed to freeze, awaiting for him to meet in the middle though Nekomaru kindly asked if it would even be okay.

"Don't be mad at yourself for something like this Akane, your boundaries matter." 

"I'm sorry coach," she mumbled out as Nekomaru gently took his hands away as he shrugged, a soft grin across his face as he admitted that kissing wasn't some kind of end goal here. 

"We can do that some other time, we have all the time in the world Akane." 

She sighed in relief, hoping that the next time they spent time alone that Akane would be ready to show some romantic implication though she was glad that he was understanding and could be so unreasonably gentle and kind. 

The brunette licked her lips, immediately clearing her throat, unable to try convince herself not to just admit her own emotions, she had held everything in for so long, she wasn't sure why she felt now was the appropriate time 

"Do you…" 

He looked over.

She felt her heart stop as she looked at him, their eyes completely focused on one another as she felt completely powerless over her own feelings. There was no reason to either; she had sobbed and begged for his return, doing everything to make it seem like he was beside her.

Akane had completely been overcome by rage the first week of their mandated therapy sessions, Fuyuhiko silently observing all the distress that the simulation and their remnant memories had caused. She had been overtaken with emotion once she calmed down, going into a zone of utter silence for two weeks before she finally muttered her first words.

Those few words were the catalyst that had caused her to admit her feelings, how she loved him, how she desperately wished she wasn't so weak though everyone around her always said that crying or attachment never made a person weak. 

Nekomaru had also been a literal, metaphysical time bomb. He had briefly mentioned his time in hospitals with multiple surgeys, always trying to gloss over the fact he had issues with his heart. There had always been a sense of painful reality that he might be the first to go far too soon out of everyone on the island.

Akane refused to believe that, always demanding that he stay alive, that she needed someone beside her at all times which made him blush, which was odd for him though the gymnast knew that he was the most well off and good hearted of the entire group.

"Do you want...me?" She asked nervous, not sure if this was all she would be able to say in terms of pointing him to the giant, figurative sign that screamed "I am in love with you!" always.

"Of course I do." 

He answered far quicker than expected, he answered almost a little too quickly for the brunette to even process the fact that he had just admitted his own feelings and said aloud that he also wanted her.

"That was fast," was all she could muster as Nekomaru let out a wild and loud laugh, unable to hold it together before he sighed happily, responding that he didn't need time to think about a question he already knew the answer to. 

"If you want me to explicitly say so then I will if it'll clear your mind," he began before giving himself a brief nod as he continued. "As long as you're around I'm happy, whether you want this to be romantic or not is up to you."

Akane furiously blushed, she felt herself beginning to break out in a sweat, not expecting to hear something so damn unintentionally sweet. She knew exactly what she wanted but the revelation she had experienced with Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko made her hold back.

"I do but…" 

Nekomaru clearly could sense her emotions and her restraint, unsurprising for someone who had been the Ultimate Team Manager. He quickly interjected once she paused to think of a response.

"You not wanting to be held or show any kind of affection won't make me feel empty, I just want your presence, the things that you need to work on and figure out can come later." 

Akane felt her eyes water. 

"Damn it," she whispered under her breath, so quiet that he couldn't hear her though she felt grateful to have someone so understanding and in tune with her. Perhaps she wasn't comfortable now but that didn't mean she loved him any less right? It couldn't have as she considered all that had led up to him waking up. 

However, she couldn't spell out what she wanted.

Love wasn't a word used in her vocabulary, it was something she had never even asked her mother about. What was the point when everyday was simply a fight for her life especially before gymnastics had provided her and her siblings with some turnaround. 

She wanted to punch the palm tree beside them until her fists bled. Why could she be so honest and yell the words _"I love him!"_ in a fit of rage when it had came to therapy or telling Fuyuhiko yet right in front of him she felt powerless for the first time in her life

Why didn't she trust herself?

"Akane…" 

She must've been stunned into silence so long that he had become worried for her sake. The gymnast felt herself begin to cry, her vision hazy as she spit out her own testimony.

"I can't say it but I really want to," she cried.

Nekomaru cautiously stood silent, wanting her to finish speaking before he would even say a word back about the subject.

"I just," she groaned, pulling her hair as she continued, trying to gather her thoughts into one place. "I don't want you disappointed, I don't want to pull away from you constantly, I don't understand how I'm okay with us fighting all the time but the minute you try to touch me I get all weak." 

"It's not weak, it's a preference, that's all." 

She looked up, sniffling as Nekomaru sighed, hands in the sand beside his hips as he tried to communicate that he was indeed quite okay with her being slow with affection or simply never wanting it at all.

"Your presence alone makes up for any lack of intimacy, I don't love you because of some physical feature, you're my athlete and I love you, that's all." 

The entire part about not loving her purely for her body or her physical assets had struck a nerve deep in her. Not to mention he had just admitted that he was also in love with her which made the entire conversation get all mushy.

Though for once, Akane wanted that. 

"I...love you," she mumbled though it was loud enough for him to realize she had at least said those three damn words. "Thanks Nekomaru," she added.

Nekomaru smiled at her, staring at her with longing and nothing but pure euphoria. She never used his real name unless it was something serious or sweet, worthy enough for her not to use one of her few nicknames for him.

"No problem honey!" 

Akane coughed, surprised by the sudden pet name.

"Honey?!" 

The team manager laughed, hand on his chest as he looked at her, thinking pet names were a classic way of showing affection in a romantic relationship. Akane couldn't argue, he was making an effort and that was what mattered.

"Honey it is but if you call me that in front of Fuyuhiko or Kazuichi I will fight you on the spot," she added cautiously.

He grinned ear to ear.

"I agree to your terms!" 

* * * 

plus one.

* * *

  
An entire week had passed since their discussion about affection and the two had openly admitted their feelings for one another which was what Akane had wanted from the start.

Much to her shock, the gymnast had actually become quite comfortable rather quickly with the entire idea of a relationship with Nekomaru. Nothing much had changed from the previous deep friendship they shared with one another besides the pet names and the open compliments and flirtatious comments they sent to one another.

Affection had been so-so. 

Sometimes she desired it greatly but she had not been comfortable with anything besides a gentle hand hold or his arm around her shoulder as they slept, with her permission of course. 

He just seemed glad that she was near though Akane was convinced she was somehow disappointing him by not kissing him or letting him hold her. Nekomaru always sensed it, knowing her far too well.

 _"Owari, stop thinking about it, I'm just glad you're mine,"_ he'd always say.

Nekomaru had been, almost to a frustrating degree, extremely serious about upholding consent from her in this relationship regarding any kind of touch. The two still sparred and he made sure to ask at least three times if she was going to be okay with it. 

No one had actually found out they were with one another, they acted just about the same and Nekomaru made sure to not let any pet names slip from his tongue in front of the others though Ibuki was almost certain that something was going on between the two.

She had rolled her eyes with a small grin, amused that everyone had been rooting for them so hard and openly. 

There had finally come a day when she felt an unwavering amount of determination to kiss him, not out of necessity to force some kind of romantic affection but because she wanted to. She had gotten up from the bed, tired as ever though she knew Nekomaru had already left during sunrise to go to the beach and train. 

"Probably at the restaurant," she hoped, hungry and wanting to see him but also overtaken by her own hunger.

Putting on her usual clothing she set out for the restaurant, running into Mikan on her way there, the two saying their good mornings as the nurse added she was usually the first one to be at the hotel for food.

She laughed, hands on her hips as she walked up the stairs having held open the door to the lobby for them both, "You're honestly right but think I was extra tired for some reason." 

"Yo," Fuyuhiko said, loud and clear so Akane could hear as she approached the table, her stomach rumbling though she grinned and skipped over to the area where Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko sat. 

"Where's the lover?" She asked, always amused with the flustered expression that came across Fuyuhiko's face whenever someone referred to his partner as his lover. It wasn't false but they were always working on slowly but surely furthering their relationship.

"She's on the third island exploring, she came by earlier to grab food and left," he shrugged as he took another bite of his food as Kazuichi leaned in his chair, hands behind his head as the Yakuza stared him down.

"You're gonna fall if you keep testing gravity dumbass." 

Akane ignored them, going to get food as she smiled to herself seeing Nekomaru talking to Ibuki and Mahiru who apparently wanted his help for some kind of party planning. 

She let herself eat and relax with her usual comrades before she looked over, tapping her fingers impatiently to await for the conversation to be over, not wanting to suspiciously steal him away from the two women who had theorized the longest about their relationship. 

Besides Kazuichi and Hajime of course.

A half hour passed before Nekomaru stood, Akane stood up quickly, wanting to see him as she excused herself quietly from her two close friends who had begun to bicker over something trivial. They hadn't noticed luckily when Akane ran over and gave Nekomaru a small cough.

He turned and she noticed his eyes immediately brighten. 

"Good morning, you're never here this late, I was starting to get worried!" 

She felt herself chuckle, asking if they could talk alone, preferably outside. He agreed without any questions or judgement as the two headed two the stairs together, Akane noticed Ibuki glancing in their direction curious as a cat though the gymnast _prayed_ they weren't about to be followed.

Nekomaru took her near the gate, the two leaning up against it as they both sighed in relief, the noise was welcome after the uneasy silence that came after every trial during the simulation but sometimes even Akane desired the quiet.

"You wanted to talk?" 

The gymnast closed her eyes as she, without even thinking, grabbed his hand, immediately interlocking it with her own in silence.

The man beside her jumped in surprise though he happily held her hand, proud that she had felt comfortable enough to grip his hand and lock their fingers.

"This is okay?" 

"Yes, I promise," she laughed, annoyed that he wasn't getting the clear message she was trying to send. They stood like that for a few minutes before she let go, her hand getting sweaty. 

Nekomaru's smile was infectious and glowing as she chuckled, not knowing how exactly to bring up the fact she felt the desire and want she had to kiss him. 

"Was that all? It was very cute honey," he laughed before Akane quickly turned towards him, determined with a mission as she took his hand again. Nekomaru looked at her a bit confused though he never denied the chance to get those rare moments of intimacy from her. 

The gymnast clenched her jaw before she let herself relax, she wanted this, she had already decided that. She leaned in to kiss him though this time instead of backing away and cowering in a corner, she had pressed their lips together softly. They had never kissed besides the one time the two of them had gotten _interestingly close_ during one of their massage sessions with one another. 

She relaxed, happy to kiss him as he seemed overwhelmed with excitement, eager that she had progressed far enough to have that first real kiss with one another. Akane could feel both of their heart beats in sync before she pulled away. 

Not due to stress but instead due to losing breath, having not been used to this kind of thing just yet.

"That was really nice," she spoke as her tone entailed nothing but utter excitement and surprise, not having expected to be so exhilarated from the gesture. Nekomaru seemed far too frozen to even speak though she laughed, knowing that it was probably quite unexpected.

"You're a good kisser old man!" 

He seemed to melt at the comment, arms crossed with one another as he glanced at her with a warm grin painted across his lips. The utter shock of the gesture had sent him into a spiraling frenzy though he had never been so thankful and grateful.

There was a minute of silence before the gymnast spoke up.

"I wanna kiss you again." 

Nekomaru winced, not having expected such a quick turn around for her. He was beginning to worry that this was coming out a place not of comfort but instead to make him happy.

"Are you sure? You want this?"

Akane sighed knowing that this entire process would last for months, maybe years considering it was Nekomaru, though she was simply glad to have a partner who understood her boundaries and her unresolved issues.

"Yes, I want this Nekomaru." 

The two leaned in to kiss one another before they both heard a loud bang on the gate, Akane jumping from him a good distance as they both looked behind them to find Ibuki squealing as she opened the gate and yelled at them both.

"What was that just now! Ibuki saw you both, the eyes, the expression," she yelped before they both were sent into a frenzy of flustered responses, denying any of her claims.

"You two were totally about to kiss right then and there, what has Ibuki said from the beginning? The battle loving troublemakers have become soulmates!" 

Her inability to stop talking made Akane sigh, she wasn't exactly ready to admit their relationship to anyone and Nekomaru knew that, keeping his mouth shut as he let the brunette do all of the talking, not wanting to step on her toes with assumptions.

"We're not a couple, you don't gotta stalk us," she said trying to be as upbeat as possible, not blaming Ibuki's good curiosity and perfect eardrums. The musician held her fingers to each side of her forehead, pondering a moment before giving a nod of her head.

"You will tell us when the time is good, Ibuki understands," she said, right on the money though the two refused to admit that downright. 

Akane gave Nekomaru a smirk as Ibuki began to go on some kind of tangent. Anything she said had completely been lost on the team manager's ears though he gladly stared at his partner with those same damn loving eyes that made her want to fall on the floor.

He leaned against the gate once again, the two communicating only through their own stares and eye movements though it all communicated the same thing.

_You're mine and that's what matters._

**Author's Note:**

> hope you all enjoyed, tumblr as always is @pxkopxkoyama !!


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